WHY ME ? (1990) - Movie Review

Director: Gene Quintano
Starring: Christopher Lambert, Kim Greist, Christopher Lloyd, J. T. Walsh
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Action, Adventure
Writer: Donald E. Westlake, David Koepp
Runtime: 87 min
Rated: R
Buy This Movie: Amazon Prime Video, Apple TV

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Synopsis:

During a diamond heist, two inept jewel thieves unwittingly steal Turkey's most prized possession, The Byzantine Fire, and soon find they are on every jewel thieves, cops and political fanatics' hit list as they try to return the coveted ring.

Review:

"Why Me?" is such a strange little movie, a peculiar forgotten cinematic relic that somehow encapsulates the best, worst, and bonkers of the 1980s and the 1990s. Based on the fifth book in Donald E. Westlake's series of John Dortmunder novels, the film follows daredevil jewel thief Gus Cardinale (Christopher Lambert) who unwittingly swipes a sacred jewel called the Byzantine Fire and finds himself on the run from not just the LAPD, but also Turkish government agents and an Armenian terrorist.

After reading up on director Gene Quintano's resume it all started to make sense. The man previously wrote the scripts for films like "Police Academy" 3, 4 and 5. He later co-wrote and directed the 1993 "Lethal Weapon" spoof "National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1". I suppose he does have some talent for comedy, but as is the case with all the aforementioned movies, his application of humor in "Why Me?" can best be described as scattershot. So too, is the plot, but don't worry, it's not the kind of movie where you need to worry about such trivial things as story, characters or logic.

The book's author co-wrote the script alongside acclaimed writer David Koepp, who is best known for writing blockbusters like "Jurassic Park", "Mission: Impossible", "Spider-Man" and "Panic Room", as well as both writing and directing one of my favorite horror films, "Stir of Echoes". For obvious reasons, Koepp is credited under the pseudonym Leonard Maas Jr. There are moments, ever so few and far between, when the writing feels, dare I say it, clever, and I suspect that's thanks to Koepp's involvement. Of course, something stupid almost immediately follows, reminding you what kind of movie you're watching.

Christopher Lambert is just not built for comedy. He tries his best, but his performance isn't funny. He's not without a certain charisma, but the kind of slapstick or farcical versatility required for this particular movie just doesn't fit him. Christopher Lloyd, however, is right at home playing Gus' nutty partner in crime. However, it's J. T. Walsh who absolutely steals the show with a dazzling (and puzzling) scenery chewing performance as the most unpolitically correct, foul-mouthed and over-caffeinated police chief you will ever see.

What else can I possibly say about a movie in which the Armenian terrorist (and member of the Armenian Liberation Party), played with manic comedic zeal by Wendel Meldrum, kills off members of her own family to pressure Gus into handing over the jewel. She reminded me of the Judean People's Front Crack Suicide Squad in Monty Python's "Life of Brian", and is a prime example of how random the humor in "Why Me?" can get. There is a kind of dumb innocence to how dedicated everyone is to getting a laugh out of the audience, and I can't deny that good comedic timing does exist in this movie. I guess that's worth something. Not much, but something.

In the end, I can't in good conscience recommend this movie. But, if you're looking for a mindlessly entertaining way to kill 90 minutes of your time and some brain cells, then you might as well give it a try.

SCORE: 5/10