THE PICK-UP ARTIST (1987) - Movie Review

Director: James Toback
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Molly Ringwald, Harvey Keitel, Dennis Hopper, Danny Aiello
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Drama
Writer: James Toback
Runtime: 81 min
Rated: PG-13
Buy This Movie: Amazon Prime Video, Apple TV

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Synopsis:

Serial pick-up artist and commitment-phobe Jack Jericho (Robert Downey Jr.) takes lessons in the art of seduction from aging player Phil Harper (Danny Aiello). Jack finds a formidable opponent in Randy Jensen (Molly Ringwald), a fiery tour guide who has a retort for his every line. Though she initially spurns his advances, Jack finds a way in when Randy's alcoholic, compulsive gambler father, Flash (Dennis Hopper), ends up in serious debt and deep trouble with gangsters in Atlantic City.

Review:

Here's a movie you've probably never heard of before. "The Pick-Up" artist is a rom-com of sorts that tanked at the box-office and was never heard of again. I accidentally stumbled upon this movie after Robert Downey Jr. won his Oscar for "Oppenheimer", and gave it a watch. Soon enough I realized there's a good reason why this movie was relegated to oblivion.

Downey Jr. plays the most ridiculous womanizer I've ever seen in a movie. He chases down women on the street and spews the worst pick-up lines you will ever hear. The fact that he seems to be so successful in this approach is only the first of many far-fetched things the movie throws at the viewer. The Oscar winner plays this role as many others in his career, with charm and a motormouth, but I honestly found him grating after a while. Molly Ringwald, who in the '80s played popular characters in films like "Pretty in Pink" and "The Breakfast Club", feels completely miscast here. The writing doesn't do her any favors, trapping Ringwald in an unlikable character with thin motivations for her actions.

The script clumsily tries to shoehorn the idea that the two leads are addicted to risk and it would make sense since the writer/director also penned the script for the 1974 film "The Gambler" starring James Caan. But that would require complex characters and a deeper exploration of their personalities, not just a couple of throwaway lines. It would have been an interesting angle for these characters if it would have been developed in a significant way throughout the movie. Also, there's a grittier R-rated movie bubbling underneath, but someone decided this should be some kind of feel-good PG-13 romantic comedy. Big mistake !

I mentioned how the plot is far-fetched. It starts that way and only gets worse by the end. While the first half can be fun in an undemanding way, the movie quickly gets bogged down in its ridiculous plot, making the 80-minute movie feel like two hours. Meanwhile, I was more fascinated by the number of familiar faces in the supporting cast. Harvey Keitel effortlessly plays the generic mob boss, Dennis Hopper basically plays an extension of his "Hoosiers" role, and Danny Aiello is just ... there as our bumbling Casanova's well-meaning friend. Also, blink and you'll miss Vanessa Williams, Lorraine Bracco from "Goodfellas" and "The Sopranos", and Bob Gunton, best known as Warden Norton in "Shawshank Redemption".

In the end, it's not an infuriating mess of a movie. You can watch this and hold no deep resentment towards it. You will also forget this movie exists as soon as the credits start rolling.

SCORE: 5/10