ROAD HOUSE (2024) - Movie Review

Director: Doug Liman
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Daniela Melchior, Conor McGregor, Joaquim de Almeida, Jessica Williams, JD Pardo, Arturo Castro, Beau Knapp, Post Malone
Genre: Action, Thriller
Writer: Anthony Bagarozzi, Charles Mondry, Chuck Mondry
Runtime: 121 min
Rated: R for violence throughout, pervasive language and some nudity.
Buy This Movie: Amazon Prime Video, Apple TV

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Synopsis:

In this adrenaline-fueled reimagining of the 80s cult classic, ex-UFC fighter Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) takes a job as a bouncer at a Florida Keys roadhouse, only to discover that this paradise is not all it seems.

Review:

Did we really need a "Road House" remake ? This is apparently the kind of question Hollywood never asks, so we get movies like these. Now, the original wasn't some groundbreaking masterpiece. It was a silly 1980s action flick of the "So Bad, It's Good" variety. Remakes almost always attept to update the story for a modern audience. Did the 80s charm of the original survive the transplant ?

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith" and "The Bourne Identity" helmer Doug Liman does his best, but that old-school charm is mostly absent from this remake. Liman tries to replace it with a much more exotic backdrop for the club and fancier visuals, but it never quite works out. This isn't "So Bad, It's Good". It's just ... meh!

The plot is paper-thin and over-the-top ridiculous, but that comes with the territory. The original was no "Citizen Kane", either. Obviously, the main attraction here are the fights, and they're fine. Nothing to write home about. Just okay. They're competently choreographed, and they don't edit the hell out of them, which is nice. The camerawork, however, can feel a little strange. While they're easy to follow, the brawls look like they were shot by a fly buzzing around the fighters, which makes everything feel artificial. They even use CGI during the fights, which is a little weird, especially when it becomes noticeable. There's also some pretty distractingly bad CGI in other action set pieces throughout the movie. At times the movie looks like it was shot as a TikTok video.

Aside from Gyllenhaal who delivers a committed performance especially from a physical perspective, most of the supporting cast alternates between bland, misguided, or just plain bad. Daniela Melchior is an especially confounding choice for the love interest. Her line delivery is painfully fake and she lacks any chemistry with Dalton. The character Melchior plays is mostly just used as a plot device to move things along. Billy Magnussen is more comic relief than villain, and not very funny at that.

Then there's Conor McGregor. I don't know what McGregor was doing. Maybe the director was afraid to give him any direction for fear of getting his ass kicked. McGregor is physically fit for the part, no doubt about it, and he does seem to be enjoying himself as the psychotic brute, but he doesn't come across as intimidating as he should. The filmmakers seemingly wanted him to be less frightening and more cartoonish. And he has the least intimidating voice I've ever heard. He sounds like he's auditioning for a "Leprechaun" movie.

Reportedly, the movie cost around $85 million to produce. The original cost $15 million, which adjusted for inflation is around $37 million today. Did they really think an overpriced blockbuster was the way to go with this story ? Everything they changed or added to the original's bare-bones plot only helped inflate the budget, but adds nothing to the overall experience.

Liman was really upset that the film wasn't going to be released in theaters. Why ? The movie is easy on the eyes, but there's nothing here that would look better on a bigger screen. There's a mid-credits scene that teases the possibility of a sequel. I sure hope they don't do that. This remake is not franchise material.

SCORE: 5/10